Help with dating single dad


04-Feb-2020 15:40

My friend’s resentment was just fear dressed up as something else, and the girlfriend was just collateral damage. He’s doing the best he can, and the last thing he needs is to feel even guiltier than he already feels.

That clear and simple explanation cracked everything wide open for me. Even though I already knew that, it hit me in a new way when my friend explained it. Chances are, no matter where he is, he feels like he’s letting someone down, and between the two factions in his life, you are (supposedly) the grown-up. Sometimes when parenting duties push me off the docket, I can see in his eyes how torn up he feels—how much he hates disappointing me but has no choice.

I remember telling my mother about the party; when she asked me if he could be the one. I invited him to join my family reunion in Hawaii at Thanksgiving. Everyone in the family loved him, and so did I, by then, but something told me I should hold off telling him so until he told me, first.

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Tell me one more time that it’s not personal, I dare you. His kids dislike you only as a concept, not as a person—they’re looking for that same safety and stability we all are, and you just happen to be the embodiment of all that threatens that.His feelings were strong, he told me later, but he’d wanted to be sure. He didn’t lavish attention upon me like other boyfriends had, and this took some getting used to.



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