Figuring out the quiet guy dating
“I can hear the fryers, the people in the back yelling back and forth, customers at the drive-thru yelling into the speaker, and people dropping things. “It’s like playing a game of catch-up you don’t understand. “I don’t really like to be touched that often or that much and for someone else, that might be kind of insulting or hurtful,” she says. It’s just that I don’t want to feel anxious or uncomfortable.”But after she told her boyfriend how she felt, they figured out what worked for both of them. “I’m fine being held for a certain amount of time, but then I need to go have my alone thing. He’ll go off and do his own thing.”Just like everyone else, what people on the spectrum want most in a partner is to be understood and appreciated for who they are.
One-on-one is much easier.”A big part of dating someone is a lot more physical contact.
“I like categorizations, so not knowing what a relationship is — what we are — is not a good idea.”Someone who is autistic might have a different idea of a perfect date than someone who isn't, too.
Because many people on the spectrum are super sensitive to light and sound, a trip to the food court and movies can lead to a sensory-overload disaster.“Somewhere like Mc Donalds, it’s loud and the smells can be overwhelming, and all the people going in and out is a lot,” says Linda. It’s really frustrating when I’m there trying to spend time with the person I want to be with and just focus on them.” Her advice: Pick somewhere with dim lighting that’s quiet. “With a group of people, I can’t easily establish a rapport with everyone because there is so much going on,” Tina says. ”Olivia, the Spectrum Singles founder, has been dating a non-autistic person for two years and says her discomfort for physical affection was an obstacle for them when they started dating.
“Not everyone is non-verbal, rocks back-and-forth, or screams when they get overwhelmed,” says Linda Shuler-Kagelaris, who is 22.
“It’s a spectrum.”The anxiety of “coming out with autism” is a big reason why Olivia Cantu started an online dating website called Spectrum Singles two years ago when she was 18.
Welcome to the world of dating when you’re autistic.
If you notice that, while talking about future plans and events, your crush never mentions you, he never makes you “a part of his future” in the conversation, then, it’s an obvious sign that his heart is free of feelings and attachments; therefore, move on, don’t waste your precious time.“My boyfriend is patient and knows not to react to it negatively.He’s able to calm me down.”Twenty-year-old *Tina says because communication is already tricky, it’s important to be explicitly clear.“[Going on the site] eliminates that fear completely,” she says.
The key is understanding and not being afraid to ask questions.
5) He forgets all the important things about you, such as your name, your phone number and your Birthday.