Dating the second time around book
She’s still interested but needs a little more time to be comfortable. Cool, you don’t need to waste any more time with her; move on and find someone who interested in them, odds are that somebody else is too…
and your online honey-bunny is talking to them, too.
Needless to say, it was kind of an insult even back then; nothing screams romance more than “I’m interested in you but not enough to actually to join the site.” Fortunately most sites seem to have wised up and charge a subscription fee instead, but the vestigal organ that is the “wink” hangs in there like an appendix and does nothing but cause trouble.
Here’s the thing: everybody knows exactly what it means when a guy sends one of these.
By spending so much time trading emails back and forth, you’re bleeding emotional momentum.
That initial rush of interest goes away quickly if you wait too long to actually make your move; they’ll almost always start to assume you’re not . If you’ve been exchanging emails back and forth, then they’re interested in talking to you; take “yes” for an answer and say “You know, I think getting to know someone over drinks is better than just emailing back and forth, don’t you? It’s fairly simple: the magic number is typically when you’ve exchanged 3 or 4 emails. Much like talking in person, if they’re writing long emails or asking lots of questions, they’re definitely into you; short, terse responses mean that they’re not quite feeling it.
I’m a big believer in efficiency when it comes to dating. Y’see, online dating can seem for folks, especially people who have a touch of approach anxiety or hate the bar and club scene but don’t necessarily want to try hitting up strangers at Barnes and Noble.
The structure is simple: Greeting, a little about what it is about them from their profile that you like, a question to prompt a response, a little bit about you, and then “I hope to talk to you soon.” Two or three lines for each section. But I have to know: what’s your ultimate escape from the world when you need a release? I’m always looking for a potential partner in crime…
It takes slightly longer than hitting “wink” (unless you’re like me and kept two to three variations in a text file that you could copy and paste in as needed…) but it’s also far more likely to get an actual response instead of a silent eye-roll. You may be trying to feel things out and get to know them.
You may be trying to avoid getting shot down and want to wait until you’re actually going to meet her in public.
The key is to be short and sweet; the longer the email, the more likely it’s going to seem as though you’re too desperate. if you’re already assuming that they’re not likely to write back time writing out a sonnet?
I’m a fan of the dating site email template – less of a form letter and more of a very easily customizable email that you send out in order to save time.
Yes, there are occasionally people who use OKCupid like a sex ATM. Women have it just as bad as men do – they may get deluged by guys who assume we’re the lone exception, that those non-responses are somehow a judgement of us as a person and that everyone else has it better or easier than we do.