Dating effeminate

19-Sep-2019 21:55

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I had just recently come out as gay after years of denial, shameful secrets, and emotional breakdowns — not to mention numerous failed attempts to be straight and overly masculine.

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But I also learned that being true to yourself can come with challenges.While I believe that nothing is wrong with being and expressing yourself in whatever way you desire — whether masculine, feminine, or androgynous — it’s undeniable that masculine-acting queer men reap unparalleled benefits of the patriarchal dividend, and receive unwarranted advantages for being male and masculine in a society that devalues and antagonizes femininity.This leaves room for misogynistic gay men to flaunt their male privilege while screaming for their exclusionary gay rights.Men often describe themselves this way to indicate that they’re masculine-acting, and are seeking other masculine-acting individuals.

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Those who use the term tend to be straight-passing men who refuse to communicate with anyone other than straight-passing men, and therefore dismiss and/or degrade feminine or androgynous people. Some try to defend these actions and “preferences” by saying things like “everyone has a type,” “it’s just a description,” and “it’s not what I’m into.” But I certainly find “Masc 4 Masc” problematic.“When I couldn’t get voted back on, it was a blow,” Hodge says.