Christian thoughts on dating
It means, practically, to find ways to talk to the girl with whom you are interested. (And trust me: the temptation to yield to passivity in this area is a tendency you will have to fight in marriage as well.) But intentionality must characterize our conduct during the entire relationship, not just the beginning.It means asking her to coffee, explaining your intentions, seeking her parents’ blessing, and so on. Don’t Stop Initiating It is easy for us guys, once we’ve exercised leadership a few times, to retreat back into passivity and neglect to purposefully pursue the relationship, choosing rather to let romantic momentum or our girlfriends take over. This means that you to plan time together, guide the conversation to edifying topics, and regularly communicate your intentions.That’s why I usually tell guys that, if they are dating, they should be ready to marry within a year to a year-and-a-half. So guys, ask yourself: Am I in a position to be married within the next year to eighteen months? You must settle this issue before you enter into a romantic relationship because you will not be fit to lead your girlfriend and future wife while you are on such shaky spiritual ground.Are you able to provide for a wife or be in a position to provide for a wife within the next year to eighteen months? College freshmen who believe they met their future wives at orientation may balk at this statement.I’ve seen far too many Christian men tow their girlfriend along in relational haze, neglecting to provide them with any certainty that their current dating excursion will eventually lead to marriage.
And somehow dating, pursuing marriage has become really, really difficult. Two people would indicate interest in one another, and in some way you’d start as friends, and at some point you’d ask the awkward question, and you’d go on a date, and you’d realize you’d have to have that question, that conversation too, hey, are we dating now, that kind of stuff. Somewhere along the way and probably Josh Harris has something to do with this, with , somehow it became really, really complicated.If you find that you have answered “no” to one or more of these questions, do not allow yourself to be swallowed up in despair.Rather, ask yourself: What is keeping me from changing my “no” to “yes” in each case? God has given you every resource you need to have the assurance of your salvation, to provide for yourself and for a family, to put sexual sin to death, and to develop gospel relationships in your local church.This is not to suggest that it is wrong, in every circumstance, for a woman to take the first step; what matters is not so much who takes the first step, but whether or not the man initiates the relationship from that point on.
What does it mean to initiate a romantic relationship?Adding difficulty to an already difficult situation is the reality that men, also since the fall, have an inward propensity toward passivity: that a man should initiate a romantic relationship and continue to initiate that relationship is a principle that either sits uneasily upon the conscience or is simply disregarded as unimportant.