Black dating tip
This is perhaps what makes Drayton’s tip about expectations so important.
“Today, we are dealing with a unique circumstance where we have to try to separate what we need from what we have been socialized to expect,” she writes.
This is not to suggest that Black women are not also facing the disadvantages that come from years of oppression and systemic racism, but rather that there is a general perception that Black women are becoming more and more independent just as many Black men are starting to feel more vulnerable.
“Black women are beginning to feel more powerful and independent than ever before, making serious gains in higher education attainment and entering the workforce at unprecedented rates,” ’s Tiffanie Drayton explains.
This is by no means a call for women to lower their standards, but it’s simply a reminder that not every depiction of a genuinely happy Black family will look like the Huxtables.
To be an older millennial—one approaching his mid-30s—is an interesting phenomenon because of how we’ve been able to see the world evolve, shift and change.
We obsessively engage with smartphones, Wi Fi and social media, yet we vividly remember what our lives were like before those things existed.
We’re the generation that slides in DMs, hops on Tinder and religiously subscribes to the orthodoxy of Netflix and Chill, yet we’re also the generation that remembers taking notepads and pens to school dances to get numbers, hit on our crushes by asking them to skate around the roller rink with us hand in hand to Force M.
This is important because it lets a man know that his job is not limited by preconceived gender roles of “bringing home the bacon.” Even in the midst of economic struggles or rigorous job hunts, he can still serve as the provider of emotional support and give the woman he loves the sense of security she has longed for.
We didn’t have forums we could easily jump into, social media platforms where we could efficiently debate hot dating topics, or Google to help us address our most embarrassing sex questions. Their cogent ideologies became our own, just as much as their own ignorance.